She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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