Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
