forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just cut my nipple shaving
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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