Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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