On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize