i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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