I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
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And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
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If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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