everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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