What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
