i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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