woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Alive.
So much puke
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize