And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
