my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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