Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
