You're completely useless in the revolution.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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