I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
