Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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