she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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