They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
