I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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