Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
