this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
