the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
