sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
