dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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