we have officially lost it.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
