you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
