i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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