K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
