marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
