yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
