Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
