I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm just crazy horny about you
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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