Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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