my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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