you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
