im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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