i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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