left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
