may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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