Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
