3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
someone owes me an orgasm
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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