So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i already hear my dad disowning me
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
