4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
