You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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