I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize