his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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