I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
