I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
