My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just invented taco cereal.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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