Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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