Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
