Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
