Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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