I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Randomize
