Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
birth control should be required to get into college
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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