Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
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see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
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