I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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