i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
