and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
