I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize