K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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