garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
